Awake: 4:05am The wedding day Overnight @ Nagoya, Japan
Kathy & I start eating our breakfast @ 6:30 sharp…..then hang around until
9:15am & talk with the rest of our gang.
Nick has a taxi pickup @ 1:00pm. The rest of us have a casual morning:
Don & Josie go walking; Zack & Katrina have a Frapaccino @ the nearby
Starbucks & my sisters, Corinne & Mary Jo, hang out in their room after
breakfast. Kathy & I do some casual reading & organizing of our clothes.
@ 1:45pm, we 11.5 rendezvous downstairs, dressed nicely & wait for our 3
taxis to arrive & take us a short distance (15 min) to Nagoya’s Spiritual
Oasis: Atsuta Jingu where the marriage of Eriko & Nick will occur.
The taxis drop us off @ the front entrance but, not quite knowing where to
go, we walk down a wide main gravel path about 500 ft to a crossroad.
Today’s no different weather wise than any other day…it’s very hot & humid
& we are quickly beginning to perspire. While trying to decide which way
to proceed, Kevin notices white bows tied to trees on the left. Could this
be a sign? We follow this wide gravel path to the next intersection. Now
what? We see other bridal parties, buildings, a main shrine & try to talk
with some people, none of whom speak English.
Kevin, our hero, runs off & returns with the info & a map we need. We
proceed to a large building & timidly go inside where 1st we’re greeted
with “air conditioning” & then we see our son, Nick, & we know: this is
the place!
We spend about 30 min here meeting some of the Togari extended family
(grandparents, cousins, aunts & uncles). We also admire Nick in his
traditional formal wedding Kimono (montsu kihako) & take some pictures.
Then we are instructed to line up behind Nick; father 1st, then mother,
siblings, aunts & uncles. Meanwhile the Togari family is also lining up to
our left, behind the space where Eriko will be.
And now, all heads right as Eriko & her female attendant make their entry.
Eriko is beautiful in her white wedding kimono & special headdress (tsuno
kakushi). Her makeup & serious facial expression give the appearance of a
walking porcelain doll.
The procession of Nick, Eriko & her attendant (ma kaizdenin) & the 2
families begins. We walk outside about 300 ft to the main shrine where the
Shinto priest is waiting to greet the bride & groom to be. The families
are instructed that picture taking is not allowed, nor are we allowed
beyond a certain point. However, since this shrine is outside & behind a
low wooden fence, we are able to witness the proceedings.
The priest leads Eriko & Nick up about 5 stone stairs to a table set up
with 2 tamagushi branches. He prayed aloud, blessed them & instructed them
in the turning of the branches in a prescribed manner as he also turned &
moved them while reciting more prayers. This ceremony of prayers &
blessings lasted only about 10 min although I thought it was more like 20
min standing out in the heat & humidity.
After Nick & Eriko leave the sacred shrine area & descend the stairs,
about 30 min is spent outside taking formal pictures of them & the
families. Then we walk back to the main air conditioned building where the
rest of the wedding activities will occur.
Aside: Eriko’s headdress, consisting of plastic hair & a hat with
decorations weighs about 2.5 lbs. Eriko’s female attendant assisted Eriko
whenever walking by supporting Eriko’s hand with hers separated by a
folded white cloth. She also straightened Eriko’s kimono & posed her &
Nick for pictures.
Once back in the building we were taken to a room where the Togari family
was seated on one side & the Kirsch family on the other separated by
foldable screens. We were served green tea while waiting for Nick & Eriko
to arrive. Applause upon their arrival; the folding screens were taken
down & the introductions began. I introduced the Kirsches to the Togari
family & Atsuki introduced the Togari family members to the Kirsches.
It was now time for the actual wedding….again, no picture taking allowed.
Eriko & Nick led the families in procession to the indoor shrine. Before
entering the shrine, Nick & Eriko stopped at a sink just outside the doors
where they washed their hands. Continuing into the shrine, Eriko & Nick
stood in the center, Kirsch family to the right, Togari family to the left
in front of rows of chairs that faced the center aisle. The priest came
from the right side, stood before Nick & Eriko, said prayers &, again,
turned branches. Nick and Eriko sat down while 3 musicians, who had been
silently sitting Indian style on the floor to the left side of the altar,
now played Japanese music using a drum, flute & sticks. Following this the
priest said more & then Nick & Eriko approached the altar. Nick had to
read his vows aloud in Japanese while Eriko stood at his side & responded
simply by stating her name, thus consenting to the vows. Eriko & Nick then
returned to their places in the center aisle.
Now in silence, a young girl poured Sake into a small bowl & handed it to
Nick. He drank 3 times from the bowl then handed it back to the young
girl. She then poured Sake into a like small bowl & gave it to Eriko who
drank 3 sips from it. This procedure continued 2 more times; each time
progressing to a larger bowl. Eriko, due to the weight of her headdress,
was unable to tilt her head back so she sort of thrust the bowl toward her
mouth each time to drink the Sake.
At the end of this ritual, Eriko & Nick again sat down while 2 young girls
in traditional costume performed a celebratory dance on the altar for the
newly married couple. Now it was the families turn to celebrate. Again in
silence, young girls poured Sake into the small cups that had been sitting
on trays in front of each person & we drank our Sake.
The wedding ceremony (30 min) now ended. The new Mr. & Mrs. Kirsch
processed out of the shrine followed by the families.
We went to another room where Nick & Eriko sat at a small table receiving
congratulations from their guests. It was also an opportunity for the 2
families to socialize while some kind of alcoholic drinks were offered by
2 young ladies. Not sure what the drinks were, but they were pretty: pink,
blue or clear served in champagne glasses.
After about another 20 min, we were directed to form a receiving line
outside of the banquet room to greet the guests as they entered; in
order…Kathy, me, Nick, Eriko, Atsuki & Yasuko.
The banquet room was lovely with flowers at each table incl. the head
table. Seating was prearranged with individual place cards at each seat: 2
tables for the Kirsches & each with an English speaking Japanese guest. A
large wedding cake sat on a table next to the head table where Eriko &
Nick would sit. The banquet was a Japanese food & beverage extravaganza;
so many sizes & shapes of plates with different foods & so many glasses
for the different beverages; wow!
Our Japanese interpreters sure helped us throughout the meal to know what
was food and what was decoration and how & when to eat what! The
drinking & eating began before the bridal couple arrived. Then Dr. Yasuda,
our master of ceremonies for the evening, announced their arrival. Eriko
had changed into a beautiful red kimono (red, the color of new beginning)
& a different head piece. She still looked like a live porcelain doll but
now she smiled & talked.
My brother, Don, introduced his nephew, Nick, & did a great job. Of
course, this was translated into Japanese. Then Eriko’s uncle introduced
her in Japanese, translated to English…..and the food & drinks kept
coming.
Then Dr Yasuda made an announcement in Japanese, but we were only able to
understand one word, “Foote.” When it was translated to English we all
learned that Kevin was being called upon to give the toast to the
newlyweds. It was a complete surprise to Kevin, but he gave a fine
toast…he’s just a natural!
During the meal, Eriko & Nick were spotlighted while they cut their
wedding cake….then they left the room. We all continued to eat & drink
while watching a picture presentation of Nick & Eriko growing up with
their families…..again narrated in both Japanese & English….very well done
& entertaining.
When Nick & Eriko return they have changed into western attire….they look
like a couple from “Gone with the Wind.” Eriko is wearing a peach, long,
full skirted Southern Bell gown with flowers in her hair and carrying a
ring of yellow flowers. Nick is outfitted in a gray, long jacket & vest
suit with gray patent shoes & white gloves. Eriko & Nick are all smiles &
seem more relaxed now.
Some fun entertainment while we finish our meal & move on to the wedding
cake. Nick & Eriko, Kevin & Melissa, & an aunt & uncle of Eriko engage in
a version of the Newlywed Game. The questions & answers are translated in
Japanese & English of course. Eriko’s aunt & uncle, the longer married
couple, won.
The Togari family has some accomplished musicians: Atsuki entertains us,
playing American songs & some of his own compositions on the marimba…..
Excellent!
Eriko shows us what a beautiful voice she has as she sings an American
song (“Summertime”) accompanied by her father on the marimba & then,
accompanied by her aunt on the piano, she sings Riding on the Wind (Kazi
ni noru).
And now, the final activity of this wedding celebration: Eriko, Nick,
Atsuki & Yasuko, Kathy & I go to the front of the room…..here, the men
have the final words! First I thank the Togari’s for the wonderful time
they have showed us & wish Nick & Eriko all good things in life. Next,
Nick gets his turn. I almost forgot, Eriko also gave some parting words,
but Atsuki did have the final words for the evening.
We again formed a receiving line just outside the banquet room; Kathy, me,
Nick, Eriko, Atsuki, and Yasuko to bid thanks and farewell to the guests.
Three taxis again took us back to our hotel. Since it is customary in
Japan that the wedding and banquet are attended only by family, Nick and
Eriko now went to a party with her friends.
This was a great day….from start to finish. The wedding planners did such
a terrific job & the events flowed so smoothly, that one would have
thought it was rehearsed over & over again like a series of scenes from
Hollywood. Without a doubt, a wonderful experience to remember.
Lights out: 10:11pm
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